Diagnosis - "Something Like Dengue"

So I saw the nurse 3 days in a row. After having a fever Wednesday, she asked me to come back Thursday and Friday for some blood tests.

I do NOT have malaria.
I do NOT have dengue fever.
But I do have more white blood cells than I should...

Which means... as the nurse says, "You have something like dengue"

Unfortunately this means there is no treatment except Tylenol and sleep and water.
And this can go on for up to two months in total. Doesn´t this part sound familiar?

Let´s see, I´ve been like this for 3 weeks already. How long will it last?

Fuck that´s the last straw. It´s time to go see the travel agent.